Man-repellant fashion

Quite excited about my new pair of multi-way hiker-style wedge ankle boots, I was eyeing them admiringly in the mirror this week and decided to ask Hubby for his appraisal, as there's nothing like bolstering your love of an item with further protestations of how lovely it is from others. But alas, I was met with a considered pause, and then the following conversation ensued:

Him: 'Yeah. They're nice. You like them, you like those wedge things.'

Me: 'What?! Are you saying you don't like wedges then?'

Him (carefully, sensing danger): 'Not that I don't like them, but... (flounders) ...It's like those Roman sandal things you wear in the summer.'

Me: 'Gladiators.'

Him: 'Right. Those. You know, you like them... they're just... not... my favourites, I suppose...'

Me (incredulous): 'Right. What else don't you like?!'

But there was no time to go into that mine field (luckily for him), as I had to leave for work. So on my journey, I got to thinking about all the other fashion-forward footwear items that men seem to detest on women. And not just footwear, either. From Uggs to tulip skirts, our bewildered other halves just don't get our style choices a lot of the time. Whether they think they make us look masculine, fat, just plain odd or simply that they make us walk funny while wearing them, a quick straw poll reveals the following hit list of men-repellant fashion. It makes for sobering reading, girls...

• Uggs - "I can’t tell you how much I hate an UGG boot, even worse, fake ones. And if I hear ‘They’re really comfy’, I’ll kill a girl" Mark S

- "I don't have much of a problem with Uggs, it's just when people don't lift their feet properly when wearing them" Anonymous

-"They're slippers – ask any Australian. If you can’ t wear them outdoors in a
country that is largely desert, then it follows that they shouldn’t be worn outdoors in one that is under water for much of the year" Mark L

• Ballet pumps - "Really unflattering. Comfy, maybe, but they make you walk really hard in them whilst strutting round the office" Mark S
• Gladiators - "Not amazingly keen on those Roman-style lace up boots" Simon P
• Leggings - "I don't really like leggings, and even worse are those 'ghetto' inspired jean leggings - skinny girls look too skinny; fat birds look unmentionable" Anthony M

- "Jeggings, or whatever those atrocious things are called..." JB

- "Leggings have long occupied a large amount of my resentment" Laurie D

- "Leggings seem to be worryingly cyclical. The world is full of people who look like they’re wearing tights and forgot to put a skirt on. The level of VPL abandon they encourage is disturbing" Mark L

• Kitten heels - "What's the point? They're not flats, they're not heels, they look like something Margaret Thatcher would wear" Anonymous

- "I can’t begin to articulate my hatred of them. Particularly on larger girls, who look like they’re wearing normal heels that have just sunk 4 inches into the ground" Mark L

• Sky-high heels -"Taxi shoes - those shoes girls can stand in, but wouldn't contemplate walking in, ie, you've got to get a taxi everywhere in them" Anthony M

- "Platform heels should be avoided at all costs (unless you are actually are a lap dancer)" James P

Other comments:

• "Fluffy pink jogging pants any time of the day are wrong. Why? Because they're just about OK on my four-year-old, but not when you're over 18!"  Dave A
• "Low rise jeans.... On 99% of British woman = muffin top" Anthony M
• "Just because you can fit the majority of your lower body into skinny jeans doesn’t mean that they 'fit'" Mark L
• "She keeps stealing my dressing gown! Why wear mine when she has her own, leaving me to freeze?! Don’t get me wrong, she looks great in a lot of my stuff (shirts, baggy trousers, etc), but they are mine!" Martin P

Right, gentlemen, interesting points, well made. So, you'd be sure to let the following ladies know just what you thought of their outfit choices, then?

 

Megan Fox in leggings

Angelina Jolie in ballet pumps

Halle Berry in gladiators

Elle Macpherson in Uggs

While these comments have proved (depressingly) illuminating, I don't think I'll be throwing out my leggings, Uggs and the like too soon. After all, women don't really dress for men, unless they're going out on the pull. Women, in all honesty, dress for themselves, and for other women. Only another woman would be able to identify your It bag from 20 paces (and drool over it rather than shake your head at how unnecessarily large it is, as a man would). Only another woman would know that your aviator jacket is so on trend (instead of wondering why a woman would want to look like Tom Cruise circa Top Gun). Only another woman would eye your Uggs jealously as she's hobbling across a cobbled street in heels (rather than scoff in disgust at your clumpy footwear choice). Only another woman would lust after your chic, effortless style (rather than your pert behind).Women appreciate these things, and the reason we know this, is because we notice the old 'up and down' look of appraisal and acknowledgement that we give each other as we cross each other's path on the street.


So, while my marvellously responsive panel of gents has given me some fascinating food for thought, I'd be interested to know if any women decided to throw out any of their men-repellant items after reading this post. Do tell! Thanks everyone for your insights.